King of Wishful Thinking
by Aertyn - Fluff Monster
Summary: Sort of an episode Tag to Chimera, but set to King of wishful thinking. Jack's thoughts on the whole Humming thing and what this means for him. By popular demand, a second chapter has been added. I hope you enjoy my tags to Chimera and now to Threads.
1. Tag: Chimera

**Disclaimer: Stargate is not owned by me...well unless you count the DVD's.**

**Spoilers: Chimera, Solitude, Divide and Conquer, A Hundred Days.**

**Rating: K**

**I was watching one of my favorite movies last night, and this song played and I got terribly excited about it and started writing this straight away. Jack's thoughts after "Chimera" to "King of wishful thinking" by Go West (from the movie Pretty Woman). I hope you enjoy it, if you do, please review, it really does brighten a writers day and give them inspiration to keep writing if they get positive (sometime even negative feedback is good, tells us where we can improve) feedack. **

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"Humming?" Jack's voice was almost accusatory in tone as he turned towards Sam

"I am? Sam replied back, shocked that she had a) been humming and b) been humming in front of Jack…err, the Colonel.

"You are." He replied, so fast that Sam swore he had read her mind and knew exactly was she ws going to say.

"Sorry." She wasn't really. She was happy today. She was getting her chance at normality.

An awkward silence filled the elevator as the lift sped them downwards, Jack the one to break the silence.

" What's his name?"

" Now, why…" Sam began, confused…did he really know her that well?

"Humming." Oh yeah, Jack knew Sam inside and out. She didn't hum for no reason. She didn't hum for no-one. He, the thought of Sam being with someone else lanced through him, must be one great guy for her to hum over him.

"Pete."

"Pete." Jack repeated, letting the name roll off his tongue. Deciding that he hated that name already, and the man who belonged to it.

"Pete Shanahan. He's a cop."

"Speeding again, are we?"

"From Denver. He's a friend of my brother's." Sam explained, cringing inwardly, knowing that it sounded pathetic.

"A setup?" Jack was mildly shocked. The fact that Sam had been setup with a guy was well...shocking, but not as much as he had thought. She was practically married to her job.

"Pathetic, I know."

"Not, it's great." Jack said quickly.

"Really?" She fired back, just as fast.

"Isn't it?

"Well, it's not serious or anything."

"And yet, it is…hum worthy."

"Sir."

"Now Carter, it's none of my business. I'm just happy you're happy about something other than…quarks." Jack paused, that annoying awkward silence once again filling the lift, "Not bad with the quarks."

"Excellent." A brief smile playing at her lips.

"Bit uncomfortable, isn't it?" Jack finally said, mentally kicking himself.

"Yeah, a bit." Sam admitted as the doors swung open, Jack making his escape as soon as possible.

"Good luck." He threw over his shoulder as he strode down the corridor of Level 28, barely hearing her response.

"Thank you, Sir." Sam knew at the moment that she despised that word. It was for that very word that she was humming today. If it weren't for that word she would have been humming a long time ago.

So Sam was telling her beau about the SGC. It had taken some major string pulling for that to happen, including one very heated argument between Jack and General Hammond, and that's why Jack was sitting at home on his couch staring at the bottle of whiskey that he had been saving for 'that' special day. The one where he told the woman that he loved that he loved her, and then after sweeping her off her feet and making passionate love to her, he would drive around to George's house, declare that he had been right after all, that he owed Jacob money and they would crack open the bottle to celebrate a new found love and eternal bliss. But not now. The woman that he loved loved someone else. He wouldn't tell her, he wouldn't sweep her off her feet and make passionate love to her. He wouldn't drive around to George's house and declare that he had been right. He would sit at home and lament of a love lost.

So, after staring at the bottle for what seemed hours, he broke the seal and poured the amber liquid into a glass. He didn't even both with ice. Just downed it in one gulp. Flicking on his cd player, tuned to an station that played classics, he recognized the tune. How could he not. It was from Sam's favorite movie.

I don't need to fall at your feet  
Just 'cause you cut me to the bone  
And I won't miss the way that you kiss me  
We were never carved in stone  
If I don't listen to the talk of the town  
Then maybe I can fool myself..

He couldn't expect her to wait forever. He cared about her, that much was for sure. He had realized that…no, he had known that he cared about her a heck of a lot more than was allowed to on that very first mission. He'd all but admitted it. But nothing concrete had ever been said. Oh sure, they had admitted they both 'cared' about each other during that whole Za'tarc thing. But…apart from little moments of…something since then.

I'll get over you.. I know I will  
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking  
And I'll tell myself I'm over you  
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking  
I am the king of wishful thinking

Pouring another glass, he swirled it around before gulping it down. He could pretend he didn't care. He could pretend he didn't love her. He could make it his new chant. He could replace, "The regs!" with "I don't love her."

I refuse to give in to my blues  
That's not how it's going to be  
And I deny the tears in my eyes  
I don't want to let you see.. no  
That you have made a hole in my heart  
And now I've got to fool myself..

Jack scoffed silently, how could you refuse to give in to your blues? When you loved someone this much you couldn't just let them go like that. You needed a mourning period. Sure, they were still alive. But no longer yours. Swiping his hand angrily over his eyes, destroying all evidence of his heart ache, that hole that was now in heart…that empty space, which once had a 'sold' sign on it was now occupied with a 'condemned' sign.

I'll get over you.. I know I will  
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking  
And I'll tell myself I'm over you  
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking..  
I'll get over you.. I know I will  
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking  
And I'll tell myself I'm over you  
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking

Pouring another glass, he ignored the slight pounding on his head he downed another glass, knowing that he was falling into that black hole again. A hole that she had helped him climb out of years ago, she was now shunting him back in. Without knowing that she had saved him, and then killed him.

I will never, never shed a tear for you  
I'll get over you

He poured his third glass down his throat, grimacing as the fiery liquid burned his insides. No, Jack O'Neill would never cry over Samantha Carter. He would fight hard, and he would let go of her. Wishing, hoping and praying that she got her well deserved happiness. He couldn't cry if she were happy.

If I don't listen to the talk of the town  
Then maybe I can fool myself..

It was just ignoring the rumours at the SGC. Sure they had been circulating for years, had intensified briefly after the za'tarc incident, and after Antarctica, after Edora, after…well, quite a few missions really. They had weathered all sorts of sordid rumours, including what really happened with the za'tarc incident. The worst of which had been that they had had to prove their feelings to each other…in front of an audience. Thankfully he had strung everyone up before that had got too far and Sam had never heard it. Though it probably fueled a few more rumours.

I'll get over you.. I know I will  
You made a hole in my heart  
But I won't shed a tear for you  
I'll be the king of wishful thinking  
I'll get over you..

Jack would get over her, if only in words. He would tell himself and others that he didn't love her. Knowing that they would see through his façade. See the way his eye would twitch at the mention of Pete's name. Knowing that they would see his crestfallen expression when he walked past her lab in the hopes of her being their, but knowing already that she was with Pete. Knowing why he would storm around the base for days after her engagement was announced. Because he knew already that's where this was going. Sam didn't do things by half. It was all in or nothing for her. Pete was her chance at happiness. A happiness he couldn't give her.

I'll pretend my heart's still beating  
'cause I've got no more tears for you  
I'm the king of wishful thinking..

Angrily slamming down his glass he ignored the ominous crack it made when it the heavy wood of his table, knowing he had broken it, he wiped his face with jumper sleeve. Ridding himself of the last tears he would ever cry over Sam Carter. She was happy. That was all that mattered to him, her eternal happiness. If she happened to find that in the arms of another man, then he would have to live with that. Because all Jack O'Neill wanted in life was to see Sam Carter happy.

I'll get over you.. I know I will  
You made a hole in my heart  
And I'll tell myself I'm over you  
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking

Sighing, he screwed the lid onto the bottle of whiskey. Saving it for the next day he would need it. The day Sam Carter got married. He would be there, standing in all his finery as he watched her say her vows, sparkling and glowing with happiness. He would stand up, and give a, hopefully, funny speech. He would wish them well. He would tell them that he hoped they would be happy together for a long time. He would tell them that nothing is more sacred than the love of a man and a woman, and that it should be cherished. He would stare at Sam throughout the whole speech. He would say more to her with his eyes than he ever had, or ever could with his voice. He would dance with the bride, his hands on her waist as they swayed to the music. He would then let her go, passing her to the other man who loved her. He would watch them as they drove away in the car. He would then go home and complete his mourning. After all, it was only wishful thinking that he could have his fairy tale ending. But he would be happy, knowing that she was. And that was why he was going to try and let her go.

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**Hope you liked it, please make my day and submit a review! **


	2. Tag: Threads

**Disclaimer: Stargate is not owned by me. Simple eh?**

**Rating: T**

**Spoilers: Grace, Threads**

**Well, here you are, my tag for "Threads". I do hope it lives up to your expectations, I do hope it lives up to the previous chapter. **

**A big thank you to everyone who reviewed the previous chapter, I did try and respond to all of them, but I think a couple got lost in my inbox, and for that I do apologise. **

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It was a cloudy day, nearly a week after the death of Jacob Carter and Selmak of the Tok'ra. The sky was matching the somber mood of the small crowd that had gathered by the grave in the Colorado Springs Cemetery. Sam's brother had flown in, General Hammond was in attendance as well, the President had sent his condolences and a rather moving letter of appreciation that had had Sam in tears, and many of the base personel, who were close to Jacob or who had worked with him were also here. Standing at military attention in his neatly pressed dress blues, arms rigidly held at his sides he gazed sadly as they lowered the casket into the earth. It was a deep rich mahogany, and would have held the body of Major General Jacob Carter if it weren't for Sam consenting for the body of her father, and the last host to Selmak of the Tok'ra to be returned to the people that Selmak had fought beside and with for 2000 years to be honoured in the Tok'ra way. No-one else knew that the casket that lay in the earth was empty. No-one need know. Shifting his attention sideways he glanced at the woman standing beside him, she too was wearing her dress blues, her military façade in full swing, but Jack could sense the sadness and heartache that lay nestled just below the surface. 

As the last strains of "Taps" sounded from the bugler standing at attention, he felt her resolve break, the military façade slipping as a single solitary tear slid down her cheek the airman carefully folded the American flag into a neat triangle and presented it to her and Mark Carter. Sam turned to her brother, who was clearly pained. Jack really did feel for him, he had pushed his father away for so many years, and that bridge was still being mended when he had got that devastating phone-call from Sam. Pulling him into a hug, she gently whispered some words into his ear, Jack could not hear them but what she was saying had a profound effect on Mark as he stepped away from her, tears falling freely down his face as he hugged the flag to his chest. Nodding his head to the 3 people that stood around his sister, guarding her, protecting her, he turned and left the cemetery.

And then there were only four left by the grave. Two in their finest dress blues that were pressed to perfection, their medals clinking which each movement and two in black suits, one wearing a black bowler hat. Teal'c was standing to her right, his head bowed in reverence to the man that they mourned, knowing that without Jacob Carter and Selmak the Tau'ri and Tok'ra fight would have ended long ago. Raising his eyes to meet hers, they showed the grief and sadness as he bowed his head once more to Sam before slowly wandering away, lost in his own thoughts. Daniel was on the other side of Jack, stepping around him, he gently pulled her into a re-assuring hug. She'd had to cope with a lot this past week. His de-ascension, breaking up with Pete, and now this. Breaking away, he smiled reassuringly before trailing after Teal'c.

A soft breeze rippled through the trees, crackling the few leaves that remained on the branches the sky having darkened slightly, hinting at the coming of night, Jack gently reached out to touch Sam's elbow, just reminding her that he was still there. And always would be. Turning to face him, Sam gave a tiny smile through her tears. A small one, but it was still more than had been seen in a week, and my goodness if it didn't make his heart all of a flutter.

Gently guiding her away from the burial plot, they wandered aimlessly through the grey headstones in complete silence until Jack seemed to falter in his stride, halting in front of a small grey headstone with the image of an angel engraved on it. Sam paled slightly when she read the engraving.

_Charles Jonathon O'Neill  
1984-1993  
Beloved Son of Sara and Jonathon O'Neill.  
A gift from Heaven that was returned too early._

Jack's stance was rigid for a moment, as if steeling himself for what was to come, before he slowly sank to the ground. Sam fidgeted slightly, turning to leave him with his thoughts before a noise halted her.

"Stay." Jack's voice had an almost pleading pitch to it as he stared at the stone in front of him. Sam only had to think for the briefest of moments before she gently folded her legs beneath her and knelt next to him.

"I come here every few months…sometimes I just sit here, remembering him. Other times I talk. Can I talk today Sam?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Shocked that he even needed to ask, she tentatively reached a hand out and grasped his own and squeezed it reassuringly, giving permission for him to open up to his emotions.

"Hi Charlie, I know it's been awhile, things have been…hectic at work. To be honest Charlie, I'm not sure I can keep doing this. The body is willing, it's just the spirit, I can't send people though that gate anymore, knowing that they may not come back. I don't know how George did it for 6 years, I've been there for a year and it's already getting to me. Maybe I should have another crack at retirement. Maybe." Jack paused slightly, as if in deep thought, before he continued, "I bought a friend along today. Her name is Sam, and she…just lost her father. I know he's up in heaven with you Charlie, because he was a good man, who fought so hard for this country, for this planet…heck for this galaxy. He was an incredible man, and I will never forget him, or what he did for me. Can you find him Charlie, take care of him."

Pausing in his speech, he turned his head sideways to look at Sam, her tears now falling freely down her face as she choked silently on all the emotions running rampant through her body. Turning back to the headstone he took a deep breath.

"Now, about Sam. Bet you're wondering who she is. She's…she is…well, Charlie, she is my everything. She's just so incredible. You know she once blew up a sun. That was pretty cool. She's intelligent, god is she intelligent…sometimes, alright, most of the time I have no idea what she is going on about, and I know it's dumb, but I always hang around to hear her explain about her doohickeys, just to hear her talk…just to watch her explain something, the way her eyes light up, like she's discovered how to split the atom, even when it's just figuring out how to turn a device on. It's captivating. And then there is her smile. She can light up a room with that smile, she can light up my heart with that smile Charlie, yours was the only one to be able to do it. And then I met her, and she…just… I love her Charlie. This isn't just about 'caring' about her. I love her, pure and simple. And you know how I hate cliché's, but Sam is that missing part of me. She…she completes me Charlie. And I never thought I would ever feel like that again…not after losing you. I didn't think I deserved to feel this way again. But, I do and I can't deny it any more Charlie."

Sam's hand had slipped from where it had been, holding Jack's hand, and was now resting on the grass that lay beneath them. Her mind swirling with everything that Jack had just told…Charlie. Feeling the salty tears course down her face, she turned towards Jack and was shocked to find that he too was crying. Jack had slowly, and methodically stripped her bare of all her military training with his speech. He had poured out his soul to her, and given her his heart. Reaching over, she tentatively cradled his head in her hands, before she leant over and gently kissed away his tears, her lips trailing softly over the tracks as she stared deep into his eyes.

"You deserve to love someone, and be loved in return." Sam told him honestly, brushing a kiss over his lips, repeating the words that her father (albeit a hallucination of her father) had told her aboard the Prometheus and the words that had made her go looking for love, instead of having the love that had already found her. "And you are."

Wrapping her in his arms, he gently cradled her against his body, before looking up at the heavens and whispering a thank you. Turning back towards the woman who was curled in his embrace, he gently nudged her, "C'mon…lets go home." Jack smiled slightly as he realized that he would get to have that celebratory drink with George after all, and that maybe his wishful thinking wasn't so wishful after all. Standing up, he pulled her up with him, her hand securely clasped in his own as they said their goodbyes to Charlie, to Jacob, to their past, and welcomed their new future together. Heck, maybe he would even take her fishing.

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**So, I hope you enjoyed my tag to "Threads". Reviews, as always, would be lovely, but...yeah. I just hope you enjoyed it.**


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